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Me & You . You & Me

June 23, 2017

The Girls’ Birthday Presents.

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Oh, birthday parties! Don’t you just love attending children’s birthday parties? The vibrant energy in one (sans the clowns, please) is just so exhilarating. We recently celebrated one of our darling niece’s 9th birthday. ’Twas a big party, filled with so many colourful balloons, ribbons, horses, ponies with pretty braids & glorious sweet treats! I must admit, it is the event of the year in our social calendar.

. getting creative with the wrapping .

We thought a knitted balloon unicorn would be a fantastic present. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the luxury of time to design & perfect the pattern so I borrowed something else from a fellow knitter – a lamb! It might not coincide with the party’s theme but no little girl who loves everything cute would be able to resist one, yea?

I had to make two lambs. Why so? Their father requested that I make an identical one for the younger sister (although her birthday is in November) so they wouldn’t be squabbling over the lamb if I were to only make one. You see, these two sisters possess completely different characters. You might assume they wouldn’t share anything in common because of that, but trust me you, they actually do! And when they are both infatuated with the same things, be ready to play the referee so no one (sometimes, both) person will end up in tears.

Fret not… No fights of theirs will last more than a minute nor escalate into anything bitter. They will offer peace offerings, share and play together afterwards. It is rather endearing to know that despite it all, they love each other very much. The compassion & protectiveness they’ve exhibited would be one of the most beautiful things we’re so privileged to have witnessed.

This of course, inevitably lead the mind to begin swirling around the complex relationships between siblings – my own included.

How was it for you & your brothers or sisters?

I will be very honest – albeit having a fantastic childhood so blessed with love & joy, I did not have much of a relationship with my brother until recently that is, when we’ve both reached & passed the big 3-0 milestone (that would be a story to be told on another day). On the other hand, my sister & I have built such a strong bond since we were children, despite the seven years gap between us.

Now, how did my brother & I lost three decades of our lives not bothering to be involved in each other’s lives?

Was gender the culprit?


It may merely be coincidental, stigmas even, but I also happen to know someone else’s relationship with his sister is a suffocatingly toxic one & it goes the other way round for another pair – she resents him & would avoid him like a plague. Breaks the heart to see siblings behaving this way or worse, going at each other all the time, doesn’t it?

So if gender isn’t a factor, would it be the age gaps?

I don’t think I’m able to put my finger precisely on any particular reason for sure, except for the realisation that all of these terrible consequences we face as adults would most definitely stemmed from when we ourselves were children. What mould relationships between siblings today appears to be chains of numerous cause & effect which spanned over the years.

Overpraising for example, spurred rivalries that strained relationships. I suppose playing favourites too, has long been a speculation especially when a child feels that there isn’t any security – assurance from parents that there is enough love to go around.

Perhaps it could be something as simple as learning to ask for permission, to be respectful & careful when playing with toys or using other’s belongings. It could have prevented a child from harbouring ill feelings & unresolved resentments, yes?

For most times, the subject has still been very much beyond my comprehension actually. I would be incredibly thankful if you lots wouldn’t mind sharing your thoughts on the matter.

As for my brother & I, rest assure that we have made it a point to destroy the divides. Nothing gives us greater pleasure to know that we’re working as a collective effort in mending our broken relationship.

It takes two to tango, they say & boy, oh boy, I couldn’t agree more.

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The lambs were made from Barbara Prime’s collection of lovely toys. Quite a wonderful pattern to knit with!

Click on the icon above to know more about the designer & her patterns.

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  1. I have two younger sisters and was very close to the youngest one – maybe because she was born on my birthday. However we have recently fallen out and I feel so exhausted by it that I can’t see a way forward. No doubt I will in time but your post gave me pause for thought. I’d hate to never speak to her again but maybe the closeness made the fall out deeper. I.e. If I didn’t care so much, it wouldn’t matter so much. Also I think it’s easier to relate to women if you’re a woman – we accept how we think and act whereas we find it harder to understand men and they us. I’m not great at expressing how I think but I think it’s all about communication or mis interpretation of delivery/tone/body language. Sorry to go on a bit but you got me at a funny time. Best wishes xxx

    1. I’m incredibly sorry to hear about your situation, Hazel. I could just imagine how dreadful it must feel.

      Communication definitely plays an important role. I reckon however, that it is effective & best done only when both parties are in stable state of minds. Else, it risks a situation that goes off the rails, don’t you think? I admit that there have been some close calls where both parties nearly lost their marbles in spite of the commendable gestures to mend the broken relationship. Soon after, all efforts unfortunately came to a halt.

      Ironically it all began with a humble ‘how have you been?’ message many years later. From then on, there has always been honest conversations between us. Probably because we have both matured emotionally & we are finally capable of expressing our thoughts in respectful manners. Time is said to heal all wounds…

      So you see, maybe there’s a glimmer of hope somewhere along these lines. I really hope that you will be able to sort this one out with your sister. All my love, Hazel. xxx

  2. I’m an only child so I can’t really relate to what you’re saying, but I know growing up alone was very hard, I always wanted a big brother (I was actually asking my mother to give birth to a big brother for me 😏). Anyway I had no one to talk, I had no siblings connection but with my friend from kindergarten that I still have now. She has 2 sisters and I was always jealous of the connection they had. They were arguing a lot of course but if one of them was in trouble, the other would always be here to help ! I feel like if you have siblings then you are never alone. That’s why I feel bad when I see siblings stop talking to each other for some reasons, I think it’s really a chance to have “another you” and a waste to loose it.
    I hope I gets betters with your brother/sisters. Don’t worry and be happy 🤗

    1. I could somehow relate to you being an only child. Perhaps by no means as to yours but I’m sure it must have felt similar. I went off to boarding school when I was 13. I only saw my siblings during the holidays or over weekends when they came for short visits – I missed out a great deal of their young lives. So you see, for most times I felt like an only child & just like you, it got rather lonely during term-time despite being surrounded by fellow boarders.

      I suppose every experience, every situation, every relationship, every individual even, is unique. Finding out what works best for each person also calls for compromise from everyone associated, yes? When everyone duly pull all their weights together… remarkable outcomes!

      Ours definitely prepped us in developing this viable long distance relationships we brother & sisters now have in current days. For that reason, don’t you worry, Anaïs… We’re making up for the lost moments. Distance makes the heart grows fonder. 😉

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